Scrabble Sundays: Baby Bear

I know it's not a Sunday but I have missed the past couple so here's a make-up one. I had Papa Bear help take this today as it proved impossible to get this shot myself. Or frustrating at least. He did a wonderful job and I'm proud that he not only got it in focus but got the exact framing I wanted. Way to go baby!

We are now 39 weeks, with only 6 days until his due date. It has been a chaotic last few days with lots of little false alarms here and there. I've had contractions very close together and long a few times now and then after a while they just stop. This little nugget is playing games with me. I wish he'd pick something like Candy Land or Clue instead. This one's not so much fun.

I will have pictures from week 37 and 38 coming soon. A friend of mine from college did maternity pictures of me and I love what I've seen so far! She's awesome! I'll have to share when I get the rest =)

I have also done a few family shoots recently I need to share and I will be posting a tour of my studio on Monday!

A giant heart and a growing baby bump.

I made this collage as a 20x20 piece mounted on styrene to put up at my shower. Just thought I would share! This documents weeks 17-35 of our pregnancy. It's so fun to see how much the belly/he has grown and all the fun things we did.

I can't seem to wrap my brain around the fact that he could be here anytime now. I think all day about how I could literally go into labor that very next moment. Then within a few, or a lot of, hours our lives will be forever changed and we will become parents. I get asked everyday if I'm nervous and I'm really not. Don't get me wrong I'm nervous about the birth (we're going to TRY to do it naturally) but not about parenting. I guess 9 years as a nanny makes me feel at least a little more prepared. Though, I know it's not the same at all. I've also just always felt ready to be a mother. I have always had those maternal nurturing instincts, which is why I began nannying in the first place.

The part I'm most overwhelmed and nervous about is getting everything ready for him. I work all day doing things around the house, running errands, and trying to finish client work in time for his arrival. I have lists, I mean LISTS, of all the things to do before he is here. Every time I feel a cramp I tell him "not today". I'm not ready yet. I'll take the discomfort of these last days over the being unprepared any day.

At the end of the day though all that matters is that he gets here healthy. That both of us come out of the birth ok. If that happens everything will be perfect no matter how many things are left on that to-do list.

A question for any of you who are mothers: Did you actually relax in the days leading up to your due date? Also, if any of you had natural births I could use some encouraging words!

16 days till our due date. 

Week 35: Capitola

For our week 35 shoot we headed out to beautiful Capitola to feel the sand on our feet and scare little children with my giant belly. We both would love live there one day. He grew up on the beaches in South France so I know he would love for his little guy to get to do the same. For now we will just have to take him as often as we can. Those colored homes make me swoon every time.

(that's right, I jumped like that at 35 weeks pregnant- not quite as high as him =) - taken in one try too)

Pictures from the shower coming soon and some belly painting fun! I got a really great surprise that made the shower extra special. =)

Week 34: The Light

We got a little bit behind on our pictures. Every time we set up a shoot it fell through and it's just difficult to find motivation to do anything when I finally get a second of downtime. Nonetheless, I made a commitment to make Baby Bear a book and a book he will get. So, even though I feel like an elephant and the last thing I want to do is take a picture I will still continue to do so as I grow to sizes fit to be a float in the Thanksgiving Day parade.

Today was the first day in a while where I have come home and there hasn't been a giant box on our porch step. I am so incredibly in awe of how truly nice people are. It's beautiful and I'm honestly so touched by the outpouring of love that I get a little sappy and teary-eyed sometimes. I blame the hormones.

We could have never imagined that people, some who are nearly strangers, would be so generous and giving. We haven't even had our two showers yet and already have every big item we registered for. Some from people I have met only once. I feel so blessed and happy that I am bringing my baby into a world where he will be surrounded by such absolutely wonderful people.

Speaking of showers my first shower is this Saturday. I can't wait! My sister-in-law is making it filled with all the things I love and putting so much into it. I couldn't be more thankful. Like I said we're incredibly blessed. =)

This image is Gregory Crewdson inspired. He is one of my favorite artists and photographers of all time. If you haven't seen his work you need to. It's beyond gorgeous.

Week 30: Backlit

I think we've got a pretty large baby on our hands. Or in my belly rather. We still have 2 months to go and I already have strangers saying "Any day now!" to me. So, either he's big or it's cause I'm the size of a smurf that my belly looks extremely huge. Either way it's starting to get uncomfortable. It's like there is a little car jack inside me that is trying to spread my tiny ribcage as far as it can. Space is getting tight in there for him and he's got to find more room somewhere. Or make it. 

The most common advice you hear when pregnant is to sleep as much as you can now and to do as much together as you can. We have failed miserably at both of these. We did make an attempt though and got our bums off the couch for a date night on Saturday. We went to dinner and got some ice cream because even though I'm not a huge ice cream person I just had to have a sundae. We had a great time and giggled the whole night. I really love that man =). 

For any of you who have children (or just know people who do), what's the best advice you would give us during this time? 

Week 29: Night and Day

We are officially in the third trimester and it is absolutely evident. Not only by the growing bump but all of those lovely symptoms are beginning. It's already impossible to get comfortable. Can't wait to see what the next 65 days will be like. =)

I still can't wrap my brain around the fact that he will be here in two months. We have less than 10 weeks to tackle a ridiculous to-do list. Most of our remaining days are already planned out and filled with baby showers, diaper showers, and classes. Good news is after what feels like months of researching I think that our registry is almost complete! We've already been gifted some wonderfully sweet things. I have been in constant amazement this entire pregnancy with how incredibly sweet people can be! It makes me so happy to bring a baby into a world with people like that.

One thing I am loving about this time is how much I am feeling him now. Each movement is so strong now. Especially when food or music is involved. He loves to breakdance and Hammer shuffle in there. It's amazing how much you can love someone you haven't even met yet. Our lives are already so much better with him on the way. Our home and hearts are bursting with love and incredible joy!

Week 27: Snow Bunnies

We took this weeks pictures in New Hampshire. This is right outside their house. I have trash cans and an uneven driveway right outside my house. It snowed quite a bit while we were there, which is quite lovely when you are from California and never get it. Even more lovely when it's not your responsibility to shovel it everyday. My absolutely wonderful sister-in-law spent so long snow-blowing and shoveling for us to take pictures and go play outside. A big thank you and a Happy Birthday yesterday to one of the sweetest people on this planet, Leah!

Though I am so glad that I am not going to be pregnant when it's really hot, it's tough when you start outgrowing your coats. Hopefully it warms up a little bit soon because they aren't going to last much longer.

Victoria of Garden of Eden Designs asked me do to an interview for her blog and it's up now. You can see it here. Make sure to check out her whole blog. It's wonderful and full of inspiration! Thanks Victoria for letting me be a part of your wonderful I Wonder Wednesday series!

Hope you all had a lovely Wednesday!

XOXO, Tenley

Week 24: Be Mine

Hello all you lovely people who are reading this. I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's Day. I spent it at work, seeing my dad and watching The Bachelor with my mom. The boyfriend and I work opposite schedules during the week so no date night for us. He did surprise me with BEAUTIFUL flowers and delicious Chevy's flautas though. If you only knew how I love both of those things you would know how romantic it really was. And of course we did a little Valentine's themed shoot on Sunday.

The wind was ruining everything but it was still fun. That is until he got a splinter jammed in his nail from picking up all those hearts. Ouch! Sorry honey!

I made him a Valentine involving this:

Oh how I love that boy!

Valentine's Day marked our 100 days till Baby Bear arrives! That means today we are officially in the double digits. Oh, wow. So much to do in the next 99 days!

What did you all do for Valentine's Day? Or what did you do to protest it?

XOXO,

Tenley

Week 23: Library Nerds

The boy and I were rebels this week and went to the library for our shoot. I couldn't stop laughing and thought we might get kicked out. He was making the funniest faces and picking the most ridiculous books the entire time (not all shown). It was so much fun!

Though Papa doesn't read much, other than magazines, I find sanctuary in any space filled with books. I seek out the magic within the walls of a bookstore any time I need a pick-me-up. In fact I went today for just that reason. I love to sit on the floor for hours and look through photography, art and graphic design books. I save the fiction novels for home and my comfy bed.

Reading was exciting for my brothers and I when we were little. We would go to the flea market or bookstore and get to pick out books all of the time. We all really looked forward to embarking on our next adventure through the words on a page. I hope that this little nugget loves reading too. Imagination is a very precious thing to me and I think that reading really helps it flourish. 

Yes that is a Dr. Phil book in Spanish as well as Charlie St. Cloud in Spanish. The Zefron is a very serious topic in our house. =)

I wish I could dive into the wonderland of another novel. Unfortunately, it has been all "What to expect" and various pregnancy reads for the last four months. I'm looking forward to having a little time off before the baby comes and getting to read for pleasure.

What are some of your current favorite reads? I love suggestions!

XOXO,

Tenley

Shapeshifting Shadow

My shadow, the shapeshifter. Always changing. The familiar morphing into the unknown. Expanding from the form I once knew. I don't recognize this figure. It is not my friend. Peter Pan may have wished to keep his shadow sewn tight but I am eager to break free of its grasp. To shirk the constant reminder of what my shadow has now become and what it will be four months from now.

Pregnancy is a blessing. To have a child will be the greatest present I will be gifted in this life. I have dreamed of being a mother for as long as I can remember. It was the one thing I knew I had to do in this life. I always saw pregnant women as incredibly beautiful and figured that the one day I was so lucky to join their elite clan that I would glow in the same way. That I would feel just as beautiful.

How wrong I was. Though I could not be happier about the blessing forming inside me I feel betrayed by what is happening on the outside. With every week I continue to grow in welcome and unwelcome places. I don't feel beautiful. I feel huge. I wish this was not so difficult for me. That I could marvel and enjoy every symptom of this time. I bask in the thought of the gorgeous little boy that I am creating within my frame. Then I see my shadow snickering next to me. Reminding me of the toll I will pay for this wondrous journey. I would despise it if it weren't for what it stood for. The light at the end of the tunnel.

For now I will sit in traffic in this tunnel and try to avoid my new frenemy until I make it to the other side. Grow to the size of the Empire State Building if you must shadow. Whatever it takes to get to the light. My precious gift. My baby boy.