3 Years.

Three years ago today I walked into my favorite dive bar as I had every Tuesday and Thursday the summer before. I had been gone for the past year finishing college and now returned to the familiar sounds and smells of Karaoke Night at the Peacock Lounge. This night would be different than any before. This would be the night I would meet the love of my life playing pool in the corner of that bar. We would sit entranced in conversation the whole night. He would remember my drink and offer me his coat but refuse even a handshake goodbye because he did not want to ruin the electricity we felt. We would spend everyday the next few weeks staying up in my room talking until 6 am surrounded by boxes and Friends would be playing in the background. I would walk him to his car bare foot each morning as the sun rose sad to watch him leave. Hoping each moment could last forever. Eager for the next to come.

And though each moment couldn't last forever we would spend the next three years making magical memories and building a love and partnership that hopefully can. Each year has been more beautiful than the last with this past year being spent creating our most treasured moment yet, welcoming our son. Our bond has grown stronger with each day that our little baby bear grew into a bigger piece of supermarket produce. I can't wait for the years to come and the beautiful memories will now make together as a family.

I truly love this man more each day than the last and I still get butterflies when I look into his eyes. And as I did in those first weeks I walk him out barefoot each day as he leaves for work. Sad to watch him leave but overwhelmed by the fact that this wonderful man is mine and that he will later return to the home we now share together and the family we have made. And in these moments I close my eyes with the knowledge that I am the luckiest girl alive.

Scrabble Sundays: Baby Bear

I know it's not a Sunday but I have missed the past couple so here's a make-up one. I had Papa Bear help take this today as it proved impossible to get this shot myself. Or frustrating at least. He did a wonderful job and I'm proud that he not only got it in focus but got the exact framing I wanted. Way to go baby!

We are now 39 weeks, with only 6 days until his due date. It has been a chaotic last few days with lots of little false alarms here and there. I've had contractions very close together and long a few times now and then after a while they just stop. This little nugget is playing games with me. I wish he'd pick something like Candy Land or Clue instead. This one's not so much fun.

I will have pictures from week 37 and 38 coming soon. A friend of mine from college did maternity pictures of me and I love what I've seen so far! She's awesome! I'll have to share when I get the rest =)

I have also done a few family shoots recently I need to share and I will be posting a tour of my studio on Monday!

A giant heart and a growing baby bump.

I made this collage as a 20x20 piece mounted on styrene to put up at my shower. Just thought I would share! This documents weeks 17-35 of our pregnancy. It's so fun to see how much the belly/he has grown and all the fun things we did.

I can't seem to wrap my brain around the fact that he could be here anytime now. I think all day about how I could literally go into labor that very next moment. Then within a few, or a lot of, hours our lives will be forever changed and we will become parents. I get asked everyday if I'm nervous and I'm really not. Don't get me wrong I'm nervous about the birth (we're going to TRY to do it naturally) but not about parenting. I guess 9 years as a nanny makes me feel at least a little more prepared. Though, I know it's not the same at all. I've also just always felt ready to be a mother. I have always had those maternal nurturing instincts, which is why I began nannying in the first place.

The part I'm most overwhelmed and nervous about is getting everything ready for him. I work all day doing things around the house, running errands, and trying to finish client work in time for his arrival. I have lists, I mean LISTS, of all the things to do before he is here. Every time I feel a cramp I tell him "not today". I'm not ready yet. I'll take the discomfort of these last days over the being unprepared any day.

At the end of the day though all that matters is that he gets here healthy. That both of us come out of the birth ok. If that happens everything will be perfect no matter how many things are left on that to-do list.

A question for any of you who are mothers: Did you actually relax in the days leading up to your due date? Also, if any of you had natural births I could use some encouraging words!

16 days till our due date. 

Week 35: Capitola

For our week 35 shoot we headed out to beautiful Capitola to feel the sand on our feet and scare little children with my giant belly. We both would love live there one day. He grew up on the beaches in South France so I know he would love for his little guy to get to do the same. For now we will just have to take him as often as we can. Those colored homes make me swoon every time.

(that's right, I jumped like that at 35 weeks pregnant- not quite as high as him =) - taken in one try too)

Pictures from the shower coming soon and some belly painting fun! I got a really great surprise that made the shower extra special. =)

Week 34: The Light

We got a little bit behind on our pictures. Every time we set up a shoot it fell through and it's just difficult to find motivation to do anything when I finally get a second of downtime. Nonetheless, I made a commitment to make Baby Bear a book and a book he will get. So, even though I feel like an elephant and the last thing I want to do is take a picture I will still continue to do so as I grow to sizes fit to be a float in the Thanksgiving Day parade.

Today was the first day in a while where I have come home and there hasn't been a giant box on our porch step. I am so incredibly in awe of how truly nice people are. It's beautiful and I'm honestly so touched by the outpouring of love that I get a little sappy and teary-eyed sometimes. I blame the hormones.

We could have never imagined that people, some who are nearly strangers, would be so generous and giving. We haven't even had our two showers yet and already have every big item we registered for. Some from people I have met only once. I feel so blessed and happy that I am bringing my baby into a world where he will be surrounded by such absolutely wonderful people.

Speaking of showers my first shower is this Saturday. I can't wait! My sister-in-law is making it filled with all the things I love and putting so much into it. I couldn't be more thankful. Like I said we're incredibly blessed. =)

This image is Gregory Crewdson inspired. He is one of my favorite artists and photographers of all time. If you haven't seen his work you need to. It's beyond gorgeous.

Week 30: Backlit

I think we've got a pretty large baby on our hands. Or in my belly rather. We still have 2 months to go and I already have strangers saying "Any day now!" to me. So, either he's big or it's cause I'm the size of a smurf that my belly looks extremely huge. Either way it's starting to get uncomfortable. It's like there is a little car jack inside me that is trying to spread my tiny ribcage as far as it can. Space is getting tight in there for him and he's got to find more room somewhere. Or make it. 

The most common advice you hear when pregnant is to sleep as much as you can now and to do as much together as you can. We have failed miserably at both of these. We did make an attempt though and got our bums off the couch for a date night on Saturday. We went to dinner and got some ice cream because even though I'm not a huge ice cream person I just had to have a sundae. We had a great time and giggled the whole night. I really love that man =). 

For any of you who have children (or just know people who do), what's the best advice you would give us during this time? 

Week 29: Night and Day

We are officially in the third trimester and it is absolutely evident. Not only by the growing bump but all of those lovely symptoms are beginning. It's already impossible to get comfortable. Can't wait to see what the next 65 days will be like. =)

I still can't wrap my brain around the fact that he will be here in two months. We have less than 10 weeks to tackle a ridiculous to-do list. Most of our remaining days are already planned out and filled with baby showers, diaper showers, and classes. Good news is after what feels like months of researching I think that our registry is almost complete! We've already been gifted some wonderfully sweet things. I have been in constant amazement this entire pregnancy with how incredibly sweet people can be! It makes me so happy to bring a baby into a world with people like that.

One thing I am loving about this time is how much I am feeling him now. Each movement is so strong now. Especially when food or music is involved. He loves to breakdance and Hammer shuffle in there. It's amazing how much you can love someone you haven't even met yet. Our lives are already so much better with him on the way. Our home and hearts are bursting with love and incredible joy!

Week 27: Snow Bunnies

We took this weeks pictures in New Hampshire. This is right outside their house. I have trash cans and an uneven driveway right outside my house. It snowed quite a bit while we were there, which is quite lovely when you are from California and never get it. Even more lovely when it's not your responsibility to shovel it everyday. My absolutely wonderful sister-in-law spent so long snow-blowing and shoveling for us to take pictures and go play outside. A big thank you and a Happy Birthday yesterday to one of the sweetest people on this planet, Leah!

Though I am so glad that I am not going to be pregnant when it's really hot, it's tough when you start outgrowing your coats. Hopefully it warms up a little bit soon because they aren't going to last much longer.

Victoria of Garden of Eden Designs asked me do to an interview for her blog and it's up now. You can see it here. Make sure to check out her whole blog. It's wonderful and full of inspiration! Thanks Victoria for letting me be a part of your wonderful I Wonder Wednesday series!

Hope you all had a lovely Wednesday!

XOXO, Tenley

Week 24: Be Mine

Hello all you lovely people who are reading this. I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's Day. I spent it at work, seeing my dad and watching The Bachelor with my mom. The boyfriend and I work opposite schedules during the week so no date night for us. He did surprise me with BEAUTIFUL flowers and delicious Chevy's flautas though. If you only knew how I love both of those things you would know how romantic it really was. And of course we did a little Valentine's themed shoot on Sunday.

The wind was ruining everything but it was still fun. That is until he got a splinter jammed in his nail from picking up all those hearts. Ouch! Sorry honey!

I made him a Valentine involving this:

Oh how I love that boy!

Valentine's Day marked our 100 days till Baby Bear arrives! That means today we are officially in the double digits. Oh, wow. So much to do in the next 99 days!

What did you all do for Valentine's Day? Or what did you do to protest it?

XOXO,

Tenley

Week 23: Library Nerds

The boy and I were rebels this week and went to the library for our shoot. I couldn't stop laughing and thought we might get kicked out. He was making the funniest faces and picking the most ridiculous books the entire time (not all shown). It was so much fun!

Though Papa doesn't read much, other than magazines, I find sanctuary in any space filled with books. I seek out the magic within the walls of a bookstore any time I need a pick-me-up. In fact I went today for just that reason. I love to sit on the floor for hours and look through photography, art and graphic design books. I save the fiction novels for home and my comfy bed.

Reading was exciting for my brothers and I when we were little. We would go to the flea market or bookstore and get to pick out books all of the time. We all really looked forward to embarking on our next adventure through the words on a page. I hope that this little nugget loves reading too. Imagination is a very precious thing to me and I think that reading really helps it flourish. 

Yes that is a Dr. Phil book in Spanish as well as Charlie St. Cloud in Spanish. The Zefron is a very serious topic in our house. =)

I wish I could dive into the wonderland of another novel. Unfortunately, it has been all "What to expect" and various pregnancy reads for the last four months. I'm looking forward to having a little time off before the baby comes and getting to read for pleasure.

What are some of your current favorite reads? I love suggestions!

XOXO,

Tenley

Week 21: Sway to the Rhythm of Love

"Play the music low, and sway to the rhythm of love"

This week's shoot is named after the Plain White T's song "Rhythm of Love". It has been on repeat in our household. Everyone, including the pups, loves to dance around to it. It's just such an awesome song. Not to mention that the video is super swoon worthy. I mean vintage inspired beach scenes and a circus themed party with twinkly lights? Talk about my dream wedding reception. Pretty sure I actually just drooled on myself watching it. 

We've been trying to play the baby as much music as we can. Music is very important in our house, especially because Papa Bear is a musician. The baby gets a nice ear-load of Mama singing all day. Lots of Glee, Disney, musicals, Billy Joel, Taylor Swift, Sara Bareilles, the Temptations, Bon Jovi, Journey, Wilson Phillips (only "Hold on" I promise), etc. This worries Papa Bear greatly. Both my singing and the selection. He has me play the baby Mozart for about 20 minutes a day with the headphones over my belly (like below). Hopefully he will love music as much as we do and play guitar like his daddy.

And here is the video for the song:

What a catchy little ditty! Yes, I just said called it a ditty. I've just out-cooled myself. 

Hope you all are having a lovely Tuesday! What's your favorite song of the moment?

XOXO,

Tenley

Week 20: I said "I love You" on a paper plane

Inspired by the song lyrics to "Paper Plane" by Lucy Schwartz

It's official. I'm starting to get big. I've been stuffing myself into my normal clothes and I think I've almost reached my limit. Time to go maternity clothes shopping. Activate dread. 

We felt the baby kick on the outside of the tummy finally on Sunday. Papa Bear was getting so antsy to feel him because I've been feeling him squirming around in there for a while now. His face was priceless when he finally felt the little guy. He was one excited papa! The baby really only kicks when he hears his Daddy's voice, which is super sweet. Like red velvet cupcake sweet. Sometimes when I hear his Daddy talk I feel like kicking him too. Baby Bear and I now have something in common. Kidding.

We went to a really fancy dinner this weekend to celebrate our 2.5 year anniversary. Let me just say we are not fine diners. It's a fancy night if we order in from Chevy's. So, it was quite lovely. I'm pretty sure we showed our hand when we gasped and awe'd when the waiter removed our crumbs. I wish I were kidding. "David Blaine" even gave us his "crumber" (as he called it) at the end of the dinner to take home. I told you I wasn't kidding. 

Our carriage then turned back to a pumpkin and we spent the rest of the weekend in pajamas watching football. And oddly enough, it was just as romantic. 

Week 19: It's a....

Boy, oh, boy. We are so incredibly excited to be having a little baby boy! And even more excited that he's healthy. The technician said, "Something is sticking out. What sticks out?".  We both froze in silence thinking it must be a trick question. When she finally said the words though Dave jumped out of his seat channeling his inner Gregory Hines. He was so emphatic the technician looked at me and said, "Looks like you're going to be a mamma to two." She said he reminded her of the penguin in Happy Feet.

He has been that giddy ever since. Seriously. You've never seen a happier Papa Bear. It just fills my heart with so much joy!

Here's a pictures of the baby bear (profile of his face):

Afterwards we were so incredibly excited and hungry, so we went to our favorite breakfast place.

Can you tell he's just a bit excited? (Camera Phone Photos)

This was followed up with a little fun shoot (above). I had pre-planned a theme either way to take a pictures. The nursery is going to be pirate themed. Aaarg. 

And then yesterday the baby boy went to his first Sharks game with Uncle Brian and Grandpa Jim. I couldn't help but buy him and his Papa some Sharks gear. 

(Camera Phone Photos)

Off to internet shop for baby boy stuff! 

XOXO,

Tenley

She or Him?

19 weeks

Oh, the anticipation. Will we be having a little she or him? A little Hansel or Gretel? Phoebe or Phoebo? (I know, Friends fan much?). We're only one short hour away after weeks and weeks of waiting. Quite honestly though this is not what I am looking forward to the most. I just can't wait to see the little baby-bot swimming around and know she/he is doing a-ok. Once that happens though I'm going to be like a teenage girl screaming for *Nsync to finally take stage. Namely, me in junior high and high school.

It sounds so cliche but I really do just want a healthy baby. Simple as that. The boy on the other hand is most definitely crossing all appendages for a boy. Like most boys he's a little scared of being the daddy on the front porch with a shotgun, cross-examining any male within ten feet of his little princess. Plus, the idea of having a little baseball star pretty much excites all family members. We were all raised at baseball fields. I played house more in the tree at the little league fields than my own house.

I however have wanted a little girls since I was a little girl. Being the youngest of 3 older brothers I would love to finally have someone to watch the Little Mermaid with 1,000 times a day. The thought of making crafts, playing dolls and watching Disney movies makes me giddy. Plus, girl clothes are just SO cute!

I'll really be happy either way. So, here's to baseball and bots and to tutus and tea-parties.

Week 18: Mistletoe

Twinkly lights. Elf. Hot chocolate. Jolly neighbors. Paper Snowflakes. Christmas Carols. The world is just so magical during the holidays. I have always loved this time of year. I didn't realize how much more special it could be when you have a bun in the oven. A squirmy bun at that.

Papa Bear really hates taking pictures so when he said he wanted to be a part of this series I was flabbergasted (such a fun word). He still complained after 3 pictures that it was taking too long but at least he's got his partici-pants on. Hooray for small victories.

We went to two Christmas parties this week.

One more traditional family party:

(Camera Phone Photo)

And a crazy ugly Christmas sweater party: 

(Camera Phone Photos)

We got him a Grandma sweater at the Salvation Army but there was nothing good for me. Shame on me for getting rid of mine from last year. I ended up getting a toy sack from Michael's and we cut out the bottom to make it into a dress. We went all out. Side ponytail and all. I was nervous we would be the only ones looking so ridiculous. I was very, very wrong. Everyone was dressed crazy. It was so much fun!

I felt the baby really moving for the first time that night while sitting near the speakers. He really is our child. Neither of us can sit still if there is music playing. We are a ridiculous dancing family. I read that I am no longer allowed to bounce, jump, or do jerky dance movements recently. A little bit of me died while reading that. Worst part of pregnancy yet. 

XOXO,

Tenley

Week 17: Pregnant Paperdoll

Ever since I saw this absolutely wonderful maternity series by Pacing the Panic Room I knew that I had to do this when I was pregnant. Then I saw James, of Bleubird Vintage, beautiful series with her little one and it made me need to do it even more. When I saw that little plus sign I immediately started thinking of ideas. Naturally, it will be done in my own silly style. One picture a week showing my every-growing baby bump.

I decided not to start the series until we were out of the first trimester and our families knew. Hence, the 17 week start. I plan to make a book for the little baby-bot with letters to him each week.

I have had the idea to do a paperdoll themed image for so long now.  Don't you just love paperdolls? I just think they are so precious. Especially vintage ones. 

XOXO,

Tenley